Saturday, July 08, 2006
Jimi Hendrix - Hey Joe
The first week at work went by slightly faster than expected, perhaps due to the need to sleep early in order to catch the World Cup semis and head straight to work after.
It’s the typical office environment. Bright fluorescent lights, plasticky desks and cubicle partitions, the constant whirring of printers and photocopiers going about their daily business and the background symphony of machines on the shop floor pounding and grinding to the beat of the omnipresent baton of production. I spent most of the week reading up and trying stuff out on the computer to get up to speed, in between the various administrative matters of being a new employee.
During this time I met one of my best friends in the office. His name is Joe. Everyone say hi to Joe.
“Hi Joe.”
Yeap, Joe is the kind you want to have with you in the office, especially one as ridiculously air-conditioned as mine (for a tropical country, we’re really crazy about it). He keeps you awake when you’re sleepy, keeps you warm when you’re cold, keeps you occupied when you’re bored, makes you look more hard-working than you really are and always beckons you to the pantry. I meet Joe maybe 2 or 3 times a day as per required, with empty mug in hand.
The humble coffee bean has evolved from being the sustenance of hardy nomads to being the sustenance of sedentary office-folk. It is the 2nd most traded commodity after oil, but I have a feeling that most other industries would collapse without it, with billions of office-folk falling asleep at their desks or convulsing sleepily on the floors of their pantry from caffeine withdrawal. Even the police forces(what, donuts without coffee?) and militaries would not function, which might in turn lead to social and global turmoil. If some of the so-called terrorists and nuclear-wannabes wanted to annihilate their enemies, they would perhaps do better spending more time and money on a coffee plant disease than on misguided ideologies and launching missiles.
“Insolent fools! You have crossed us for the last time! In an hour from now, we shall unleash the Coffee Flu upon this hapless world and there’s no way you can stop us! Each and every coffee bean will try a wretched death and we shall laugh over your tired, sleeping bodies as we march into every city and town to achieve world domination!”
*cue evil laughter*
I shudder at the thought. Let us be grateful and give thanks as we sip our cuppa joe.
“Thanks Joe.”
It’s the typical office environment. Bright fluorescent lights, plasticky desks and cubicle partitions, the constant whirring of printers and photocopiers going about their daily business and the background symphony of machines on the shop floor pounding and grinding to the beat of the omnipresent baton of production. I spent most of the week reading up and trying stuff out on the computer to get up to speed, in between the various administrative matters of being a new employee.
During this time I met one of my best friends in the office. His name is Joe. Everyone say hi to Joe.
“Hi Joe.”
Yeap, Joe is the kind you want to have with you in the office, especially one as ridiculously air-conditioned as mine (for a tropical country, we’re really crazy about it). He keeps you awake when you’re sleepy, keeps you warm when you’re cold, keeps you occupied when you’re bored, makes you look more hard-working than you really are and always beckons you to the pantry. I meet Joe maybe 2 or 3 times a day as per required, with empty mug in hand.
The humble coffee bean has evolved from being the sustenance of hardy nomads to being the sustenance of sedentary office-folk. It is the 2nd most traded commodity after oil, but I have a feeling that most other industries would collapse without it, with billions of office-folk falling asleep at their desks or convulsing sleepily on the floors of their pantry from caffeine withdrawal. Even the police forces(what, donuts without coffee?) and militaries would not function, which might in turn lead to social and global turmoil. If some of the so-called terrorists and nuclear-wannabes wanted to annihilate their enemies, they would perhaps do better spending more time and money on a coffee plant disease than on misguided ideologies and launching missiles.
“Insolent fools! You have crossed us for the last time! In an hour from now, we shall unleash the Coffee Flu upon this hapless world and there’s no way you can stop us! Each and every coffee bean will try a wretched death and we shall laugh over your tired, sleeping bodies as we march into every city and town to achieve world domination!”
*cue evil laughter*
I shudder at the thought. Let us be grateful and give thanks as we sip our cuppa joe.
“Thanks Joe.”
# posted by BloozeGit @ 1:36 am 
